A Letter to my Son, going to College

Dear R.:

                Words cannot begin to convey how proud of you I am, and how excited I am at this, the beginning of your college career.  You are embarking on one of the most exciting and important periods of your life.  You are truly striking out on your own, to discover new worlds, and new aspects of yourself.  It is with some trepidation that I see you off, for when you return you will no longer be the little boy whose smile brightened my life every single day, over whom I watched protectively, guarding your every movement (whether you realized it or not), controlling your environment while at the same time reveling in sharing with you your discovery of the world around you.

                Instead, you will be returning a young man who has gone out on his own, to create his own future; you will be experiencing the joys and heartaches, the struggles, hard work, temptations and successes you face without me there to protect you.  And because you must face these things alone, for that is what we all must face if we are to grow and mature into our full potential, I leave you with these words:

                Be true to yourself; for you are a kind and decent person.  Listen to your inner voice, let it guide you.  Your parents have taught you the difference between right and wrong, and though the temptations may be great, if you stay true to yourself, you cannot do wrong.  This is the time in your life that YOU define who you are, what you like, don’t like, who you want to be associated with, how you want to be known and remembered.  You have grown up so far with a sense of decency and sensitivity that is highly commendable, and to which others are attracted.  Do not suppress who you are to fit in with others; let your true self shine forth and those worth being with will reciprocate.

                Allow yourself to feel;  do not be afraid to feel and show emotion.  Fear not the reactions nor opinions of those around you, for those who ridicule such do so out of fear.  Allow what moves you, what inspires passion, sadness, or joy, into your heart and express it.  For by giving voice and action to what stirs within you, you set yourself free.  Do not restrain emotion because it “isn’t masculine”, or “cool”; embrace it and in doing so feel the power of life around you.

                Take chances: embrace risk, but do so with knowledge of the consequences and with forethought.  Whether it be skydiving, asking out the hottest, most popular girl, or falling in love, if you don’t risk pain or failure, you will never truly appreciate your successes.  Life is bittersweet, and you will fail at some things, you will be rejected, or not come in first.  But you will also succeed at things, many of them those that you failed at first, you will fall in love, you will come in first.  But only if you take the chance in the first place.

                Be tolerant; accept and embrace differences in those around you.  Venture beyond what is comfortable, beyond “sameness”, for you never know when, from whom, or from where you will discover something new, either about yourself, or something that inspires you.

                NEVER FORGET; that your whole family loves and supports you.  That many miles may separate us, but our thoughts and prayers are with you always; that you are NEVER alone.  Take comfort and strength in this, that you always have home to come back to, that there are many, many people who love you.  With this as your foundation, nothing is impossible.

                I give you these words, my son, not with sadness or sense of loss, but with joy and pride.  As you move forward with your life, I look forward to sharing it with you, and will always treasure the memories of our times past.  Go forth, challenge the world and yourself, and treasure this time of your life.

Love,

Dad